Election Day... Deep Breaths...

Today, I worked with my friend Bec Degnan (who owns Prism Counseling) at a local cat cafe. This place is incredible! I plan to go back again! We hosted an emotional support space for the queer community to wait out the storm of the election. I went to get support as much as to give it.

Inside, it was peaceful. The owner, Mark, is an absolute angel of a man. As he initially planned out the colors of his cafe, the contractor working for him told him he should rethink it because of the implications. (Haddam/Killingworth is NOT a welcoming queer-affirming town.) Instead of heeding that advice, he leaned hard against it. An older, straight, white man, he personally stood to gain nothing from taking such a bold stance in such a right-wing town. In fact, he signed up for a world of aggravation by poking the bigotry bear so forcefully... but he has created a really wonderful place there... a place where everyone, including myself, felt safe today.

I brought Devon and a young trans client with me. As the day progressed, we enjoyed free sandwiches and drinks from Mark, played board games, engaged in riotous Jeopardy competitions, and even enjoyed live music. Periodically, we could pop into the side of the house with the cats (separate from the cafe due to health code), and get some much-needed snuggles.

The picture above was of me going to get some snuggles after taking a peek at the polls. I won’t be looking again until some time tomorrow. Until I am the best prepared I can be for the worst possibility. And if the worst happens... if Trump is elected... I will partner with Dan and other therapists to offer emergency support groups. I will explain the reasons I am still going to have hope. Here are some of them:

When I heard Kamala was running against Trump, my heart sank.... fielding a BLACK WOMAN candidate in a country still so in favor of the Bigot King of Misogyny? The country is not ready! (Am I? Absolutely. But this damn country? Apparently not!).

Yet here we are... Kamala announced her plans to run, and the race took on new life!

We sit here, neck and neck, and a female POC candidate right there leading the way against Trump! That ALONE is huge. That ALONE is changing both history and our future. That ALONE tells us which way our culture is evolving.

The next reason for hope? Our country’s youth! They are flooding the polls! And those too young to vote are also tuned in and paying close attention. If the vote doesn’t turn in the direction of our youth for this election, well, just wait... the old regime is literally dying. The young are demanding to be heard, and they are fucking pissed off with the old world order and the dying planet it’s leaving in its wake.

So let’s say Trump does get elected. Sure, he’ll try his damndest to eliminate the 8-term cap. But that will be the most un-American thing he could ever do. He will be going against the precedent set by Washington himself. He will either be done with ever being able to consider the presidency again due to term limit, or he will cause a civil war.

And even if the Teflon president continues to proceed through life as untouchable as he has been so far... he is not immortal. At the end of the day, he is a very old man, terrified of his own obsolescence and death.

The same can be said for the Republican Party. Let’s be real. The GOP no longer exists. It’s simply the cult of Trump now. The fact that its days are numbered is exactly why it’s gotten so strong. Just like its leaders, its followers fear the dying of their culture, toxic though it may be. Those who are still a part of that culture have not had the mental flexibility to change and adapt, and that rigidity makes them brittle. They know this, and it is terrifying.

To most humans, Change. Is. Terrifying.

All humans are terrified of becoming obsolete and being abandoned and left alone. It is the most painful root fear of the human condition- not JUST dying, but dying ALONE. And humans will do just about anything to avoid that level of pain. Like a rat trapped in a cage, human beings lash out like aggressive animals. Anger is so much easier to feel than fear. Anger gives us the illusion of control.

Whatever happens in this election, we are witnessing the death throes of a dying culture. One that will not go peacefully into the night.

But peaceful or not, that culture will end. Every year, it fades away a bit more. Humanity is evolving. As it always has. As it will continue to do long after you or I are gone....