White-Girl Walkabout, Part Six: The Lasting Results of Going WAY Outside of My Comfort Zone

In this journey, as in my day-to-day life, I practice what I preach to my clients.  I know the dangers of staying too long in my cozy little comfort zone/ safety bubble.  I know that bubble will shrink down until it risks killing me, a concept explained in this video we made.  So what happens when we DO push outside of our comfort zone?  Well, here’s what happened to me…

I began this journey with anxiety levels so high that my guts were liquified.  I was legitimately afraid, regardless of whether or not there was legitimate reason to be so.  Using the techniques I cited in my last entry, I pushed through it, facing even more challenges than I had ever anticipated (Thanks, AirBnB!).  My anxieties led me to be extra stressed in my interactions with my friend, Fred, causing some additional friction on top of the challenges he (and our friendship) were already facing. 

Despite that, I was able to give emotional support to my friend.  I was able to bring myself back when I was overly stressed, and apologize right away, veering our interactions to more productive territory.  I was able to fly home a bit less stressed.  And when I got home??  I felt confident.  Capable.  Free.  Happy.  Happy!  It had been months since I felt such sustained happiness!  It’s amazing what a greatly diminished sense of fear can do for one’s mood!  I was more connected to my husband, more playful with my son, more effective (and funny!) in my therapy work.

The world hadn’t changed.  The same news headlines broadcast all across the media, (and I could swear- they seem to be getting even worse!) but I have gone out into the world.  I have smiled as I looked my fellow American’s in the eyes.  I made sure to thank them by name when I could, and I recognized returning smiles of appreciation.  In these experiences, I learned that my fears are not entirely justified.  My comfort zone has expanded.  My world has gotten a lot less frightening to live in.  As a major added benefit, this same peace ripples outward from me. It effects my family, my friends, my coworkers, my clients, and even the people I purchase coffee from or pass on the street.

Epilogue

My original journey took place in July, 2025. In September, I decided to head back out to Ohio to visit my friend Fred for a weekend.  The headlines have, indeed, continued to heat up, and the country continues to seem more and more divided.  I did still wear a heat at the airport (yes, I’m braver now, but no need to invite unnecessary drama from my travel-weary flight companions).  I sat next to a young man who had an entirely different upbringing than me- Florida-based, youngest of seven children, homeschooled, mission-driven Christian, moving regularly with his parents.  He hoped to be a faith-based therapist one day, and took an interest in the art I was creating on my laptop.  We both enjoyed video games, and had families of origin where we didn’t always get what we needed.  I referred him to one of my favorite faith-based experts on codependency and complex trauma.  We spent the time focusing on what we had in common, and recognizing the tense political landscape, we didn’t feel the need to debate the areas where we were likely to disagree.  We simply engaged in the moment, connecting human-to-human.  I am convinced that the more we do this, the healthier and happier our human groups, be they towns, states, nations or otherwise, will be.